anyway yall keep tweeting about videogames so i figured id try one

picked this up as a backup in case my PS2 woes couldn't be solved and GUESS WHAT my PS2 is still irreparably cursed so here we go

I played Sonic Adventure 1: Not Battle a while back and kinda bounced off it tbh; the linear speed levels rule but all the nonlinear explory platforming hunting for keys etc was kind of unplayable jank IMO

hoping 2 either polished up the camera/controls a bit, or just resolved to rely less on platforming and stick to rollercoaster levels

IT'S MEME TIME

My only actual experience with this game is playing City Escape on the gamecube demo kiosk at walmart over and over while my mom did shopping

City Escape absolutely owns

this is amazing you clear the first level and get immediately transported directly to the Baffling Tamagotchi Minigame Dimension with zero explanation or tutorials

just nonsense menus and walls of statistics and none of it even works yet

incredible

oh wow knuckles raps

"GIVE UP THE EMERALD OR DIE / I DON'T LOVE YOU"

F

okay so the FIRST time you get exiled to tamagotchi purgatory it explains nothing whatsoever but the SECOND time you get like an entire wikipedia's worth of text describing about thirty different interrelated systems, still without even the barest shred of context

welp tails' mech controls are miserable

meanwhile in Jail

🙃

eggman has blown up the moon using the other moon that there is

thinkin about that video of the guy opening up a GameMaker 3D demo level while screaming SONIC ADVENTURE TWOOO

not gonna look it up bc it was circa-2010 youtube poop which means it was probably full of slurs and my memory of it is much funnier than the actual video was

when you go to load your save file you get a confirmation box that just says [WARNING] and also has a DELETE button

WOW THANKS FOR THE TUTORIAL

the text is literally wrong; you have to RELEASE A after jumping and THEN hold it down lmao

Sonic's voice actor legitimately sounds like Stinkoman

just stuffing animals by the hundreds into this chao

really love how every cutscene has music with lyrics that completely drown out any of the actual character dialogue that happens to be playing

eggman built an entire ancient-egypt-themed pyramid/fortress/Evil Science Lair to launch a rocket to access his orbiting space gun

the vehicle it launches is... just a normal-ass space shuttle

tails suspends his entire mech from these hooks using his actual arm

alright well I had to move apartments and then spend four trillion hours playing fire emblem but I guess it's finally time to resurrect this thread of woe

in case any of us had forgotten what this game was like, Knuckles just heroically saved Rouge, The Bat Who Can Fly, from falling

this game is unencumbered by even the barest shred of self-consciousness or irony

it's like, just completely pure-hearted and earnest about its own jank-ass direct-to-VHS aesthetic

if I was 11 years old this whole spectacle would have absolutely *blown my mind*

As an adult it kinda sucks to play but it's like, an INSPIRATIONAL sort of suck

cool how gravity-switching levels are the worst part of like twelve different sonic games